As Derek reported, Andres Nocioni will be starting at POWER FORWARD for your Philadelphia 76ers in tonight's game against the Marreese Speights Grizzlies with Elton Brand out until the All-Star Break. Here are things that were more likely to happen before Doug Collins came to that outlandish decision:
- Evan Turner drops so far in the Doughouse that he becomes the Sixers new mascot.
- Louis Williams takes over as head coach.
- Marreese Speights gets re-traded to the Sixers for Jrue Holiday, Andre Iguodala, and Boosie.
- The Sixers offer Big Macs to fans every time the Sixers score less than 8 points in a quarter.
- Francisco Elson finds his super suit.
- Spencer Hawes drops basketball altogether for luggage modeling.
- The entire team learns a choreographed dance to You Can't Stop The Beat from Hairspray.
- Andy Reid and Doug Collins have a baby together.
- The team officially decides to change their name to the Philadelphia Knicks.
- Dongaila MVP.
- Andre Iguodala hits two regulation free throws in a row.
- The Mayans were right.
- The Sixers finally get the "future considerations" from the Jazz for the Kyrylo Fesenko trade.
But alas, the odds were not ever in our favor and neither I nor Katniss Everdeen could stop Doug from starting Andres Nocioni over Nikola Vucevic, Evan Turner, Thaddeus Young, Tony Battie, the sloth from Ice Age, Rowena Ravenclaw, Dwight Yoakam, Apollo Creed, and a tub of vaseline. Get your NoceTurkey's ready, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Before the season started I would have put “The Sixers being 4.5 games up in the Atlantic standings after 32 games” on that list.
yosoysean - February 21, 2012
Or even better: Sixers having the 3rd best point differential in the NBA after 32 games.
yosoysean - February 21, 2012
its not even funny
doug collins has been watching too many jeremy lin pieces on television at home sitting on the couch indian style.
J.Michael Woodson - February 21, 2012
He makes some really stupid decisions sometimes.
I just don’t get.
Clint Eastwood - February 21, 2012 via mobile
This
TitansJonne - February 21, 2012
Could be worse
dp - February 21, 2012
Andre Iguodala on Noc starting...
“I think it is a good strategy that could help us really win or really hurt us…”
CONFIDENCE!!!
bebopdeluxe - February 21, 2012
Ha, oh yeah, he thinks it’s a great idea that might just be terrible.
J.P.Melle - February 21, 2012
hahaa great quote from Iggy.
highwaterhello - February 21, 2012
Is Brackins still in the D-league? I’d rather see him start than Noce.
phillyhoosfan - February 21, 2012 via Android app
still in the D-league
KJ Brophy - February 21, 2012
For what it’s worth I bet Noc gets less minutes than Vuce and Lavoy for the game. Doug Collins likes to start scrubinis sometimes to maybe fake out the comp?
BrandonB - February 21, 2012
Good point
Hopefully Noce’s minutes will be kept low. Very very low.
kazz - February 21, 2012
I would be surprised if Noc gets more minutes than either. It’s still a silly thing to start him though.
yosoysean - February 21, 2012
I think this is the real point. Who starts isn’t as important as who gets the most minutes. If the Sixers are going to lose anyway, let’s get Nocioni some PT so someone might give him an offer. They’re paying him a lot of money to sit on the bench.
Will Speezy try and take it out on the Sixers? Will his coach let him?
RickoT - February 21, 2012
Maybe a tryout for the alleged Noc for Marion trade? Could that happen?
J.P.Melle - February 21, 2012
Let me curb this thinking immediately with some caps.
ANYONE TRADING FOR NOCIONI WOULD ONLY WANT HIS EXPIRING CONTRACT. HE COULD NEVER PLAY AND IT WOULD. NOT. MATTER.
end.
Michael Levin - February 21, 2012
… So what is it you’re trying to say?
J.P.Melle - February 21, 2012
It would not matter how Noce plays
Ben16 - February 21, 2012
That’s that.
nyunole - February 21, 2012
If Dallas wants to remove themselves from title contention it would be prudent to make this alleged trade.
BrandonB - February 21, 2012
Dallas’s thinking going in to this season was to remove itself from title contention this year in order to set themselves up with Deron and/or Dwight going forward, by cutting as much long-term salary as possible. This will mean getting rid of Marion’s contract. At this point Cuban might want to keep him through this season however, given how well he and their team have played.
J.P.Melle - February 21, 2012
They are 3rd in the West. It’s not too often you see a 3rd place team salary dump good players.
BrandonB - February 22, 2012
Not to mention they just came off a championship, if I were a fan, dropping this year when you could compete for back-to-back would be a tremendous disservice to me as a fan.
BrandonB - February 22, 2012
has Doug been hanging out with Phil Jackson lately?
I’d like to think that he consumed some peyote before reaching the decision to start Noc.
YBT - February 21, 2012
No, Marge...
I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed?
BSM PSU 93 - February 21, 2012
[Coach], that’s a load of rich, creamery butter.
nyunole - February 21, 2012
Haven’t 1 and 2 already happened? Certainly looks like it over the last bunch of games.
Jury is still out on Hawes dropping basketball for luggage modelling.
ChestyLaRue - February 21, 2012
Take Advantage of the Situation
I hate to say it, but the Sixers are going down tonight.
The Sixers are 1.5 point favorites.
Gotta find me a bookie.
Mighty Blue Star - February 21, 2012
Chances that Speights actually tries to post up Noce and/or drive on him? Zero. I’m assuming this could be the only reason he would put in Noce…but it still doesn’t address the question of why not then put Turner or Thad in instead of Noce…you know, guys who can use their dribble and/or speed athleticism to get by their bigger, slower man?
jefu - February 21, 2012
This last point touches on my view of the situation. I think Doug Collins is trying to entice the Grizzlies into featuring Speezy to take advantage of Noce. If so, it could be brilliant. Speights is not going to be able to take advantage of anyone … as far as offense goes, playing the ballboy is a potential shooting upgrade given what we’ve seen the last few games.
It could also scare Iggy and Jrue into playing hard for a full game and driving to the basket .. so they don’t have to pass to Noce.
I’m fine with it … Sixers win tonight.
Toney2Turner - February 21, 2012
Heres a thought
Perhaps Noce has Speezy’s number and has been able to completely shut him down in practices.
salviati - February 21, 2012
xEgan - February 21, 2012
Love the Hunger Games reference.
Saul - February 21, 2012
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